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Joke of the Day

"Today I learned the Nazis were instrumental in the creation of Tang and other powdered fruit drinks But it didn't get far since Hitler hated the juice."

"When someone on the bus wants your seat, what should you say? If you were me, will you let me have your seat? If he answer no, don't let him sit. If he answer yes, you don't even need to move."

"Let's name our sandwich shop after smelly trains."

"I went to a really emotional wedding the other day... Even the cake was in tiers."

"The Bible would be more believable if Adam was tempted by a slice of pizza instead."

"Ive been told I'm not ambitious enough.... I've been told I'm not ambitious enough. If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard. That bronze medal would be mine."

"My daughter can be so cruel... Her: Hey dad, what is the difference between broccoli and boogers? Me: I don't know, what? Her (pointing at me): YOU, don't eat your broccoli!"

"Everyone has at least one friend who treats their Facebook status like their therapist."

"Why don't cats play poker in the jungle... ...theres too many cheet-ahs"

"What does Batman get in his drink? Just Ice"