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Joke of the Day

"#IAmHonoredBy my 12 year old telling me he needs me. He wanted a new gadget of course but the thought was there."

"Mechanic: the front shocks are shot. Did you hit a pothole? Me: yes but I winced, patted the dash & said I was sorry so it can't be that."

"I'm going door-to-door to promote my new gym. It's called ""Jehovah's Fitness"""

"The American education system. That's it. That's the joke."

"Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer? Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)"

"Donald Trump's Best Friend Donald Trump was talking about his best friend, ""Eugene Wall."" He said that he liked to call him ""Euge"" for short."

"I used to have a friend who practiced acupuncture."

"How many ""All Lives Matter"" protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time."

"What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn? Goddamn right."

"Big shoutout to the lazy, seven year old idiot who named Red Delicious apples."