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Joke of the Day

"A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"Why does noddy have bell on his hat? Because he is a cunt."

"My 5 year old just ended a phone call with ""I gotta jump, Daddy. I'm out."" And now everyone in my house is officially cooler than me."

"just applied for health insurance & boy r my arms tired! *quote goes up to $330/month* noooo it was a joke I'm a jokeman on Twitter *$3000*"

"Internet dating? No thanks. I like the internet, but I don't like like the internet."

"Whatisthelongbuttonatthebottomofthekeyboardfor?"

"It's like the TSA doesn't even care relationships end cause we can't run through the airport and stop someone from getting on a plane."

"What's the definition of a Russian elevator? A Chechen presses a button and five floors come down."

"*calls lost & found* Me: Have you seen my patience? L&F: Hold on a second. Me: *click*"

"What did the upper class Rastafari say when he walked into the bakers shop? One love me breda."