36346

Joke of the Day

"My 5 year old just ended a phone call with ""I gotta jump, Daddy. I'm out."" And now everyone in my house is officially cooler than me."

"Why did the air freshener company go out of business? Because they lacked common scents..."

"Why does the Buick Century have that name? It's the average age of someone who drives one."

"they smoked a joint and overthrew the government. now that's a high coup"

"KIM JONG-UN: I'm banning sarcasm ME: well that's just great K: what? M: I reeeally hate sarcasm K: seize him...I think"

"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist."

"Be a deer and get shot in the woods for me?"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"When I was young, my mom's sister used to bake me cakes with lots of icing and cream. She was a fond aunt."

"I was so poor, we couldn't afford a bidet. I had to do hand stands in the shower."