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Joke of the Day

"The Albanian planted lightbulbs in his garden. He heard that tulips grew from bulbs."

"According to WebMD, this hairy thing on my chest is a cat"

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no *body* to go with"

"I was verbally abused as a child. The bigger verbs at school would kick my ass. ""Stop conjugating yourself!"" they'd say mockingly."

"Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going"

"What do you call a German paedophile hiding in the playground bushes? Kinder Surprise!"

"How do you say 'The Torah' in German? Kindling."

"What did the dentist in the porno say? ""Your teeth are the whitest I've come across."""

"Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games? So that they can pack the defence!"

"I wish I had the self-confidence and assertiveness of the Adobe Acrobat updater."