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Joke of the Day

"""I'm going to the post office. I need a place stamp"" Wtf is that? ""I dunno but this envelope says I need one here"""

"I was going to tell a joke about Donald Trump's presidential campaign.. but then I realized it was racist, too long, and didn't make any sense."

"'This is the greatest thing since sliced bread!' Sliced bread peeks around corner, tears streaming, it was in the tv room & heard EVERYTHING"

"What do you call a jewish bodybuilder? Muscletov."

"After Oprah lost all that weight....... .....she was just a Phantom of the Oprah!"

"I went for a check-up today, the dr. said everything looked good... Then he stuck his finger up my ass and declared everything there was good also.... I think I may need to find a new dentist."

"What do you call a gathering of otolaryngologists? An ENTmoot."

"A black guy with a parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""wow! That is beautiful! Where did you get it?"" The parrot responded, saying, ""there are millions of them running around in Africa."""

"I'm a perfectionist when it comes to being imperfect."

"What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common? Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead."