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Joke of the Day

"""911 what's ur emergency"" This guy's not breathing ""Did u send him ur vibes?"" Yes I been sending em ""I'm sending some too"" Okay he good now"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Canoe ! Canoe who ? Canoe come out and play with me ?"

"What is a bear's favourite drink ? Koka-Koala !"

"*Goes to work* *Punches clock* *Gets fired for breaking clock*"

"There were two snowmen standing in a field, one says to the other... Can you smell Carrots?"

"What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes? A: Deterrent."

"*When I see someone else jaywalk* ""What an idiot."" *When I jaywalk* ""I am a trained professional. Do not attempt this yourself."""

"How did the aliens hurt the farmer? They trod on his corn."

"I always get ""never shake a baby"" and ""cats always land on their feet"" mixed up. Anyways I need a lawyer."

"Everyone in my house has diarrhea I guess it runs in the family"