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Joke of the Day

"What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class? Her algae bra"

"I need to buy a new alarm clock. The one I have keeps going off while I'm asleep."

"George Foreman named all five of his sons George. I'll bet the password on every website he goes to is ""password""."

"Houses in detroit are a lot like cheap ugly hookers... Only $1, but still no one wants them."

"TIFU by hiring a registered sex offender as a replacement teacher Oops wrong sub."

"It would have been cool to see the discovery of salt. ""This food tastes bland. Let's see if I can improve it by adding some rocks."""

"I almost died trying to brush my teeth with my left hand."

"I got married to an antenna... The wedding was ok, but the reception was awesome!"

"When I asked my girlfriend what car she was going to buy... She said, ""I don't know. I just want something that gets me from A to B."" She's so stupid. No car is going to increase her cup size."

"Don't try ""to"" tell me how to use quotation marks."