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Joke of the Day
"Don't try ""to"" tell me how to use quotation marks."
Next Joke
"My wife keeps complaining about her nine to five job I must admit, 4:51 is a strange time to start work"
"How to be Productive: 1.) Make a list 2.) Cross off the first thing on your list 3.) Reward yourself with a nap"
"A zombie walks into a bar Bartender says ""we don't serve zombies here"" to which the zombie replies ""that's fine, is the human fresh?"""
"I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud..."
"I had to unplug my mom's life support today. She always told me to finish my vegetables."
"I really wish some of the fantasies in 50 shades of grey were real... like how she got a job right out of college."
"Why did the bike fall over? It was ""two"" tired."
"Mother: ""Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."" Girl: ""I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."""
"My ex-girlfriend was a magician... She made all of my money disappear..."