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Joke of the Day

"What did the jealous prostitute say at the orgy? Don't blow this for me."

"What did Sandy Hook elementary get in the mail instead of new books? Empty Magazines."

"What do guys like but are afraid of? Girls"

"I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired. Life is impossible."

"When is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades"

"Meatloaf said: ""I would do anything for love, but I won't do that""... ...he means lose weight. -&y"

"It sucks that Mary and Joseph couldn't get a room at an inn..... but what were they expecting not having a reservation on Christmas Eve of all nights!"

"I bought shoes from a second hand shop. They must've belonged to a junkie though because I've been tripping all day."

"I'm less upset with Lance Armstrong lying about taking performance-enchancing drugs than I am at Oprah for lying about retiring."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining because of the cold. I'm whining because I have to wear a entire load of laundry to stay warm"