89162

Joke of the Day

"What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? A Woman"

"Just go ahead and put ""She always had to pee"" on my tombstone, because that's how everyone's going to remember me."

"Little known fact: most shepards have NO idea how many sheep are in their flock.... Every time they try to count them....."

"They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder."

"I have a bumper sticker that says... ""Honk if you think I'm sexy."" Then I wait at green lights till I feel better about myself."

"It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change"

"If you leave your iphone unattended I will tell Siri to kill you in your sleep."

"Objects in the selfie are way sadder than they appear."

"What's another name for a hemorrhoid? A cock blocker"

"British police don't carry guns. So what exactly do they do then? Yell ""STOP... OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN!"""