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Joke of the Day

"If you leave your iphone unattended I will tell Siri to kill you in your sleep."

"Congrats to Lindsay Lohan for successfully portraying what happens to mean girls after high school."

"My tacos are ready. Please check my Instagram to see 16 photos of them."

"Notre Dame beat Navy yesterday. If Navy beats ISIS, does that help Notre Dame's strength of schedule?"

"I hope this Hurricane is a Joaquin the park ;)"

"Hitlers gonna hitl"

"What did the necktie say to the hat? I'll hang around here, you go on ahead."

"Everything is edible, some things are only edible once."

"The Edge falling off stage at that U2 concert... it's comedy on at least two levels."

"What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug? One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro."