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Joke of the Day
"It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change"
Next Joke
"I have a great motto for a sperm bank. You spank it, we bank it."
"An Old Woman Commissions a Tombstone... ... she asks the carvers to write ""born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin."" It wouldn't fit on the face, so they just wrote ""Returned unopened."""
"What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!"
"Ever since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window. If it gets any worse, I will need to let her back in."
"I don't get why Robert and Cersei never seemed to get along... They didn't even have a legitimate issue."
"What do you call unborn twins? Wombmates."
"The greatest distance in the Universe is the one between how people think they look in a Hummer limo, and how they actually look."
"what do elephants use as a tampons? Sheep."
"Ran my first 10k this morning. ...I'm kidding, I'm on my second Milky Way."