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Joke of the Day

"I like my men, like I like my subway A foot long."

"Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair? Because it was a wrecked tangle"

"Kim Kardashian makes me long for the days when girls like her were hired to show prizes on game shows and we never had to hear them speak."

"Why did the police chief tell his officers to show up 15 minutes early to the political demonstration? To beat the crowds."

"I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my grandad in that concentration camp during the war... Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion..."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... No Penis"

"What joke has sebadoh for a punch line? A joke about what kind of dough does an italian use to make seb bread, with really good delivery."

"This vodka tastes strange, kinda like I'm not going to work tomorrow."

"What do you say to piss off a british farmer? You're a peon."

"Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat."