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Joke of the Day

"Plug your headphones into a banana. Everyone will leave you alone twice as much."

"The Inventor of the jug died today. Tributes have been pouring in."

"My financial situation is so bad, I'M being sponsored by a child in Africa"

"Q: What is the best time to eat reindeer meat? A: When you're hungry."

"What do you call a fat person with a flat butt? A hipobottomless"

"What does a chef with a chronic masturbation issue cook? Fapjacks!"

"What was so great about being a black jew? They already thought you were burnt"

"Apparently someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track Police think it may be race related"

"WIFE: Dave's here HUSBAND: Dave from work or Dave who always wears scarves? ME: [from downstairs] I got caught in the ceiling fan again!"

"Saw two construction workers laughing today... I know what they were really building: Friendship"