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Joke of the Day

"How do you know someone's an engineer? No worries they will tell you"

"Two tectonic plates are having a heated argument... They seem to have diverging opinions."

"At this point, I think the people on ""The Walking Dead"" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them."

"Lady Gaga: ""People should look nice all the time."" ""Nice"" = ""If an alien did meth and had a baby with a satellite dish."""

"Last year 52 Americans were shot by people who barely speak english, have no marketable skills, and are prone to angry outburst based on their views... ...toddlers are the worst."

"It's always a shame when people die so young... there's just so many things they'll never get to Chekov their bucket list."

"Alzheimer Joke (Not sure if repost.) I'll see myself out..."

"My Girlfriend is always covered in bruises because she doesn't listen.. I'm always like ""You're about to run into that lamp!"""

"What do you get with breaking news? News casts"

"*Looking in the mirror* Fix hair. Check teeth. Fix hair. Check butt. Fix hair. Side check. Suck in. Side check. Fix hair. *Sighs* walks..."