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Joke of the Day

"It's always a shame when people die so young... there's just so many things they'll never get to Chekov their bucket list."

"My girlfriend told me that I am immature and need to grow up Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore"

"What is the best part about having sex with twenty eight year-olds? There are twenty of them."

"What's the difference between karate and judo? Karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of."

"Q: What is a grasshopper? A: An insect on a pogo stick."

"Someone die? Time to get high! Come on down to Barry's Death Emporium where we put the FUN in funeral and the RAVE in grave! (BYO shovel)"

"I gave my son some masturbation advice. ""Slow the fuck down, you're going to rip my cock off."" I told him."

"I always thought Hamlet was the story of a small pig."

"So Thor walks into a bar.. Thor falls to the ground and Loki laughs ""that must have happened at least Thor hundred times this month"""

"Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She's still not talking to me."