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Joke of the Day

"I was in bed with my two girlfriends this morning.. How do you start a rave in Africa? Pencil. Am i doing this right? ( sorry for bad English I'm from Wales)"

"It's ironic that Pistorius will wake up this morning and there really will be a burglar using his toilet."

"In America Martin Luther King only gets one day.... And sharks get a whole week. It's probably because they are great whites."

"(Arrives in rescue boat to aid sinking cruise ship full of today's pop artists, saves only Lorde and Sia, speeds away)"

"* wishes on shooting star "" the wish you have wished for has already been taken, please try again"""

"When someone asks me how my day is, I like to say ""Still kinda pissed about Hiroshima,"" & then start swearing in Japanese."

"My browser history indicates true mental instability"

"I have a dog named Lucky... Sometimes he escapes so we have to go get Lucky. And sometimes it'll be dark out so we'll be up all night to get Lucky."

"What does a ghost say after a bad joke? Booo Hahahaha *I'm so lonely*"

"Why did the referee blow his whistle at the leper hockey game? There was a face off at centre ice."