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Joke of the Day

"I have a dog named Lucky... Sometimes he escapes so we have to go get Lucky. And sometimes it'll be dark out so we'll be up all night to get Lucky."

"Why do you never hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ""p"" is silent..."

"I had sex with a girl and she kept shouting another guys name Who the fuck is rape?"

"I got arrested at the airport last week... Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"Scientists just discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... it's called 'wedding cake'"

"I love the compliments my boss gives like ""wow you're on time today"" and ""great job ignoring dress code again""."

"What's the difference between six dicks and a joke? You can't take a joke."

"How long is one minute? It depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on."

"People are always impressed to find out that I got my PhD at 17 but anything is possible if you work hard enough and lie."

"*gets summoned to the spider court* YOU ARE HEREBY CHARGED WITH THE CRUSHING OF 4 SPIDERS HOW DO YOU PLEAD? *places glass over spider judge*"