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Joke of the Day

"In America Martin Luther King only gets one day.... And sharks get a whole week. It's probably because they are great whites."

"Toy Story (1995) - A cowboy & a deluded astronaut battle over who gets to sleep with a 6-year-old boy."

"I was talking to the anorexic cannibal.. I told him self-indulgence isn't the answer and he needs to face his problems. He threw up his arms and walked away."

"Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us"

"""I did not expect to encounter so many snakes when I booked this flight!"" #AwfulFirstDraftDialogue"

"What's the difference between wife and a blue whale? About 10 pounds."

"What happened after the eyeliner and mascara got in a fight? They had make-up sex."

"Just gave my husband a 3 dozen box of condoms. He laughed and called it a life time supply. I laughed and called him optimistic."

"Where do cows go to hang out? The slaughterhouse. Emphasis on **hang**."

"Why is unprotected ear sex unsafe? You can get hearing aids."