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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity Twice!"

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"A doe walks out of a forest... and says ""Well I'll never do that for a buck again."""
"Self-refilling glass. Just add water"
"WIFE: I can't take it anymore. Your incorrect use of idioms is tearing us apart! ME [taking her hand]: Cat got your tongue?"
"Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color"
"Makes eye contact with female. Medusa."
"I know a trick to make my dick 2 meters long... ... I fold it in half."
"Having bad dreams is the best way to prove you can't even do being unconscious right."
"All dick jokes are basically the same... They just vary in length"
"Pizza joke? Forget it, it's too cheesy"