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Joke of the Day
"Makes eye contact with female. Medusa."
Next Joke
"Since yesterday was the National Day of Prayer, today must be the National Day of Disappointment."
"I just saw a black guy driving a BMW and doing the speed limit. I'm following him until he pulls over b/c I know he has drugs in the car."
"In the city of Chicago There are 3 streets that rhyme with vagina. Paulina, Malvina and Lunt."
"...and tonight's final jeopardy category is Greek Mythology *giant centaur snorts and smiles at the other two contestants*"
"If there are degrees of asshole, I'm the pressing the crosswalk button even after watching you do it because maybe you did it wrong kind."
"What do vampires call menstrual cups? Shot glasses."
"What do colorblind people say to the unexpected? Well that came out of the purple"
"What does a dyslexic zombie say? Brian's ... Briiiiiiiiian's!!!"
"People tend to think I'm a serial killer.... They don't think that for for very long though!"