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Joke of the Day
"Makes eye contact with female. Medusa."
Next Joke
"I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1."
"I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature."
"*job interview* ""Youre 30? Why haven't you accomplished your life goals?"" ""Tbh I thought the Mayan apocalypse was real. No plan past that."""
"Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet."
"My therapist asked me to list my good qualities:nnNice to everyone's facenUsually wear deodorantnThin cheese slicernnThat took four hours."
"What do you call a Thu'um that makes a dragon orgasm? A Cu'um."
"I'm told that if you eat pineapple or carrots in excess, your come will taste like that food... Is this why my Japanese girlfriend's pussy tastes like raw fish?"
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool."
"What's the shortest Tom Cruise joke? He walks into a bra."