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Joke of the Day
"What's the worst smell in the world? An anchovie's cunt."
Next Joke
"Why did the little Dutch boy have to register as a sex offender? He kept on sticking his finger in a tyke."
"Which nut is the angriest? The pistachio."
"Anytime I see a motorcyclist weaving in and out of traffic and performing tricks I always root for the pavement"
"What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test? Her *algaebra*."
"I dropped my iPhone in water and now I'm unable to make phone calls. So basically it's the same as it was before."
"Our choices in U.S. presidential candidates. If nobody laughs, it would just be sad."
"What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire? Mourning wood"
"I went into Whole Foods tonight and yelled, ""Somebody's Labradoodle just jumped out of a parked Subaru!"" and everyone ran out."
"Government Shutdown: Day 4 3am: Monkey House, National Zoo A door crashes open. A triumphant screech. Ben Stiller escapes into the night."