88360

Joke of the Day

"My eyes are puffy and watery. People at work are going to think I've been crying. That should squash the rumors that I'm a heartless bitch."

"Fell through the glass doors of a French bakery and.. .. now I'm in a world of pain :D (source: Sickipedia, some user called SoSueMe..)"

"Not a racing fan at all but 3 simple words would have me practically living at the dog track: little monkey jockeys"

"*gains winter weight for ""insulation"" *is now fat and cold"

"Africans would remember this Ebola"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up."

"The GOP candidates are competing to win over Scott Walker supporters after he pulled out of the race... But all three of them remain undecided still."

"Parenting: 1st kid: Document their every move 2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time"

"Did you hear about Divorced Barbie? It comes with all of Ken's stuff. stolen from /u/LazzzyButtons"

"I found out today why my father never came home from the store.. The store had a no-return policy"