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Joke of the Day

"""Pop star, Justin Bieber, was charged with DUI, driving with an expired license and resisting arrest."" Britney Spears whispers, ""Amateur."""

"LPT: what to do when someone is having a seizure in a bathtub Throw in a load of laundry."

"A drummer trips and falls on a sheep, a candy brand, and then a running faucet *Baa Dum tss*"

"Old milk is just like cold milk Except you didn't c what you were getting into."

"Why should you never go down on a girl the morning after sex? Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"What's black and white and red all over? Police brutality."

"Why doesn't Spiderman like rice? It reminds him of Uncle Ben."

"Why did all of the frog guidance counselor's students become construction workers? The only advice he could give them was ""rivet, rivet."""

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"How can transportation be improved in Harlem?? By moving the trees closer together."