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Joke of the Day

"ME: my son ran away COP: we won't rest until we find him ME: [swiping LEGO aside with both feet] no rush"

"Sex positions for small penises Fuck! This isn't Google search. How do I delete this post?"

"He called my girlfriend a whore. So I called him an ambulance."

"It's a shame that the Woman in Pakistan got stoned... ...but Jihad it coming."

"What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.."

"Yo mama is so fat... When she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell ""Taxi!"""

"Q: What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large."

"Why do so few people become botanists? Because of the stigma."

"Just watching that movie where Julia Roberts has a lot of teeth."

"I will climb the highest mountain. Swim the deepest sea. I will cross the desert land. I would do anything to get the fcuk away from you."