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Joke of the Day

"Olympic Results for Sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal. The French have taken the Silver medal. The Somalians have taken the boats."

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"I was in the shower when I had a miscarriage. Worst baby shower ever."
"How many Trump protestors does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Trump protestors won't change anything."
"[interview] So what makes you qualified to be an x-ray technician? Superman: Are you being serious right now?"
"Once a marine, always a marine. Even if you're now working at Subway. You're a submarine."
"When life hands you melons... you're dyslexic."
"I actually don't really hate anybody at all except for Oprah,David spade, Kevin James, the mom from the Berenstain Bears, Sheryl Crow, Kevin"
"""There's no use crying over spilt milk."" Unless you spill it on a winning Powerball ticket, then you should probably cry."
"What do you call all that useless meat around the vagina? A woman"
"What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !"