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Joke of the Day

"I held a door for an elderly Japanese man. He said ""Sank you."" Why did he have to bring up Pearl Harbor like that?"

"My favorite thing about single people is how they champion being single till they like someone then they transform into a hypocritcalpotamus"

"My wife and I always fight about my socks on the floor, so I threw them at her. Was arrested after she told the officers I socked her."

"Why did the hillbilly cross the road? His dick was in the chicken"

"Who decides which weeds to kill in the garden? Weedicide."

"What's a monsters favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet"

"The dinner I ate last night is going to give my grandchildren diabetes."

"What is dead on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede."

"A Maritimer in a bar once asked me if I had ever tried Moosehead. I said ""No, but I've had some pretty grizzly pussy in my day."""

"I asked my Pharmacist for advice on telling a rash joke.. he told me to make it topical."