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Joke of the Day

"Shot through the heart and you're to blame. You give archers who shoot apples off of people's heads a bad name."

"What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath? The nun has hope in her soul, and the woman has soap in her hole. EDIT: NSFW?"

"Dear Abby, I never thought this would happen to me. Today I met a sexy woman who told me I write letters to the wrong publication."

"Donald Trump's dream is within his grasp He's about to get fucked by every woman in America"

"Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News"

"My sister read '50 Shades of Grey' and relayed some of its explicit content. I pretended to think those things are shocking, too."

"The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but it takes a very long time and the light bulb has to really want to change."

"What gym equipment does Jesus use? A cross trainer."

"LOL at people with only 99 problems What's that like?"