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Joke of the Day

"You can tell Tim Horton's is a Canadian franchise, because my donut just apologized for making me fat."

"How many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh? TEN Tickles LuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuL"

"Food wedding anniversaries: Year 1: champagne 2: strawberries 3: chocolate 4: donuts 5: protein shakes 6: microwave meal 7: Rat poison"

"Body: I'm sooooooo tired Brain: WHAT IF DINOSAURS HAD ASSAULT RIFLES"

"How was copper wire invented? Two jews picked up the same penny simultaneously"

"I would go to alcoholics anonymous But everyone already knows"

"what do you get when you cross an octopus with a human? thrown in jail for public indecency and banned from the aquarium for life."

"All I wanna do is *gun shot* *gun shot* *gun shot* *cash register noise* *goat sounds* *mousetrap explodes* wake up from this weird dream."

"Lets go to the symphony Beethoven: You guys want some symphonies tonight!? Crowd: **cheers loudly** Beethoven: I can't hear you!"

"I think Sandra Bullock chooses movies based solely on the number of times she can say ""Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"""