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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Swim for it..."

"TIL that regardless of the technical definition... your girlfriend will not appreciate being called a tramp."

"If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap."

"you really have to admire brits who voted to leave They were so worried about immigrants ruining their economy than they preempted it by doing it themselves."

"Rosa Parks her ass on the bus seat"

"What would you call a restaurant for anorexics? The Empty Plate..."

"You like parachuting? That's messed up... you like the Paris Shooting!?"

"A Jew walks into a bar... ...and leaves"

"What's the difference between plants and black men? Cells are found inside plants."

"My wife has threatened to leave me if I don't give up my obsession with horoscopes. It's too late, it already Taurus apart."