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Joke of the Day

"A lawyer, a tax-man and a murderer jump off a cliff in a race to the bottom. who wins? society"

"What did the rabbit say to the deer? What up doe"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't have her seatbelt on"

"ancestry dot com told me my ancestors were ""A Shit Ton of Sketchy Raccoons"". bullshit. i didnt pay 50 bucks for something i already knew"

"Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom."

"friend: i want a bf me: i want to hold the reins of 2 equally powerful, beautiful horses who run w/perfectly matched paces & also respect me"

"Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment. We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed."

"*notices ham sandwich while searching inside myself* 'wait, if that's here' *son opens lunchbox to find debilitating existential malaise*"

"What has a bottom at the top? legs"

"Jarndyce and Jarndyce walk into a bar... The barman says: ""Why the long case?"""