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Joke of the Day

"I'm madly in love with a girl who's a solipsist... ...but she doesn't even know I exist. :("

"[reading book report] ME: Beyowulf is the story of a guy that turns into an wolf when he hears Beyonce TEACHER: Wrong. ME: Well, I tried."

"What do you call a karate expert with a father who has diarrhoea? A chop happy chappy with a crap happy pappy."

"""Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."" In which case, there sure are a lot of amnesiacs on this subreddit."

"What is it called when you give money to a plains bison? A buffaloan!"

"I watched this documentary the other day but I didn't like it... ...because it was absolutely incredible."

"What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room? A full set of teeth"

"Cum and Lotion look and taste the same.... JUST KIDDING I dont know what lotion tastes like......"

"I don't know how guys can send dick pics to women I just can't get the camera high enough to fit it all in the picture."

"Him: My brother wants us all to go camping together next summer. Me: Can't go, I'm allergic. Him: To what? Me: Everything you just said."