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Joke of the Day

"""I really regret not taking up bow hunting"" I think as my neighbor fires up his chainsaw at first light."

Next Joke
 
"Me: I think this diet is gonna work. Cheese: No."
"What do you call a red-headed ninja? A ginja... Ensue mildly dramatic slow clapping."
"a serial killer that strangles victims with fruit by foot and eats the murder weapon afterwards"
"You: ""Whale you be my Valentuna?"" Me: ""Dolphinately."""
"LA has come up with a safe space, for people that voted for Trump And they're calling it Texas"
"""you look good have you been working out"" [me thinking about earlier when i taekwondo kicked a birdbath like 7 times til it fell over] Yeah"
"Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them because I know life is really, really tough for the visually impaired. :("
"""Look guys! No hands!"" -captain of the Titanic"
"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's a really obscure number. You probably never heard of it."