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Joke of the Day

"a serial killer that strangles victims with fruit by foot and eats the murder weapon afterwards"

"I once knew a guy... I once knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking alcohol, eating rich food and sex. He lived healthy until he killed himself."

"Did you hear about the cannibal lion? He swallowed his pride."

"What's a terrorists favorite sex toy? [NSFW] A blow up doll!"

"I want to be a pharmacist just so I can yell ""Now take these suppositories and shove'em straight up your ass!"""

"So I said to Rhianna, ""what is it Chris Brown does that 's so attractive?"", and she said,... ""Beats me!""."

"""Sensitive"" guys who only retweet chicks, you're not fooling anyone."

"As far as I'm concerned, anyone who suggests I should have a third child is committing a hate crime."

"I lost 140 unwanted, useless, life-sucking pounds - in only 6 weeks! I got a divorce."

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C."