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Joke of the Day

"Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I'm typing this with my middle finger."

"What do you call a pen without style? Stylus."

"What can Santa give away and still keep? A cold."

"The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself ""do I want to see it?"" If you do, it's not on Netflix."

"It's 4/20 and I'm not looking forward to weeding through all the bad jokes today."

"Why do people procrastinate? I'll tell you later."

"I heard a great joke about a boomerang earlier. I'm sure it will come back to me eventually."

"I like my women how I like my advent calendar. Against my wall, flaps open, ready to be eaten."

"muppets cannot die and nobody else seems to be worried about this"

"What's the most assigned elementary school essay in Chicago? ""What I want to be *IF* I grow up"""