87964

Joke of the Day

"I run a support group for premature ejaculators every Friday at 6. But everybody comes early."

"I swear I won't be undressing you with my eyes again. That REALLY hurt!"

"How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest? By tree mail!"

"""Hey, what time is it?"" 9:11"

"A Date joke When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"If you don't like my selfies, maybe you shouldn't have such a beautiful friend. Maybe you aren't ready to handle that kind of responsibility"

"What's the difference between communism and capitalism? In the former, man exploits man, in the latter, it's exactly the opposite."

"16 year olds can vote in Scotland. That's ok because they've been drinking since they were 9 and understand disillusionment."

"Two back desk orchestral players go fishing And one falls out of the boat. He screams: ""help, I don't know how to swim!"" His partner replies: ""just fake it!"""

"I wanted to see lot of animals so I went to the zoo. But they only had one small dog. It was a SHIH-TZU."