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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to see lot of animals so I went to the zoo. But they only had one small dog. It was a SHIH-TZU."

"""Twitter got hacked by some idiot in the projects. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, hide ya husband too, 'cause they hackin' everybody out here."""

"God: Basically u just chill. Cow: Nice. God: I mean, at first. Cow: ...then? God: Then people murder u to eat ur insides & wear u as a coat."

"Did you hear a med school is accepting animals as students? They're calling it the hippocampus."

"The bible says you can't buy your way into heaven but there isn't a church in the country that won't encourage you to try."

"What's the national bird of Pakistan? US Army Drone"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T LIST THOR AS AN EMERGENCY BACKUP?!?!"

"What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros? A cow can't be milked for over 30 years"

"He: That's a handsome dog. What's his name? She: Roger He: Does he bite? She: No He: How does he eat then?"

"Chain link fence gates will have their revenge on speeding 80s getaway cars."