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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I look at my friends and think to myself, ""Where did I meet these crazy people?"" But then I think ""What would I do without them?"""

"An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either."

"Why illegal immigrants are never seen on dvds or cassettes? Because they are always streaming in!"

"How do you keep someone in suspense?"

"What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !"

"Me: why do bad things happen to good people? God: *reveals image of me jerking off to April from Ninja Turtles* Me: oh God: *nods solemnly*"

"If I were a kidnapper, I'd drive around telling adults there's naps in the van."

"It was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve! - someone who believes in talking snakes"

"The stock market plunge of 2008 was worse than a divorce... I lost half of everything, but I still have my wife!"

"Why is Yoda afraid of 7? Because 9, 7 8."