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Joke of the Day

"If I were a kidnapper, I'd drive around telling adults there's naps in the van."

"Arron Hernandez found guilty of first-degree murder He has been sentenced to life in prison without parole. I'm not quite sure how much longer he is going to remain a ""tight end"""

"What do you call a Mathematician who is an outlaw and a liar? an outlier downvote brigade can start now"

"Wouldn't it be weird if you met someone from twitter in real life and all they did is say random one-liners every few minutes?"

"We had a safety meeting at work today. They asked me ""what steps would you take in event of a fire? ""Fucking big ones"" was apparently not the right answer."

"What's the first thing Aaron Hernandez learned in prison? He's not a tight end anymore ;)"

"There are only 2 Canadian things I don't like: 1) Celine Dion 2) Canadian geese Guess which one is chasing me everytime I go outside."

"What's truly horrifying is when my generation starts having children on purpose."

"if weird al is so popular now they should call him normal al. thats what i say on it"

"Why do the French get high so fast? Because they'll reach 420 before anyone else. Explanation: 80 is quatre-vingt in french and quatre=4 and vingt= 20."