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Joke of the Day

"Why is Yoda afraid of 7? Because 9, 7 8."

"A gay guy wants a tattoo of truck on his penis... Tattoo artist asks ""What kind of truck do you want on it?"" Gay guy says ""It better be a 4x4 cause it's going to get muddy."""

"Q: Where does Santa stash his money? A: In a snowbank."

"What do you call a little girl who's very close to her dog? Nina"

"Does anyone use question marks properly anymore."

"Oil is made from dinosaurs. Plastic is made from oil. Plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs."

"""Honey, it's not that I don't like your cooking, it's just that the smoke's about to asphyxiat our family."" ""WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY ASS??"""

"I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together."

"He's taking you for granted? Act differently. Do something spontaneous. Spice things up. Sleep with his friend."

"I'm going to save my resolution for 2015, I think I want to be an asshole for another year."