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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop the government from making a pipeline across your land? You Sioux them."

"Two nuns in an alleyway Two nuns were walking down an alleyway when a flasher jumps out. The first nun had a stroke but the second couldn't reach."

"Why do ghosts like going out? So they can drink boo-ze and get sheet-faced."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render buildings on the other side."

"My girlfriend asked me if her vagina smelled like fish... I said; ""Yes, Ariel, it does."""

"[Nsfw]What is in common between broccoli and anal? Both feel bad as adult, if you're forced as a child"

"Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it's two-tired."

"Me: OMG, I haven't seen you in so long! Her: We've never met. Me: That long huh?"

"Just used the ""f word"" over on FB so I'm waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use."

"My 3-year-old was counting on her fingers in the other room. She finished at 9. I am concerned on so many levels right now."