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Joke of the Day

"Just used the ""f word"" over on FB so I'm waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use."

"this harriet tubman news is gonna make it super awkward every time i purchase slaves in cash"

"What says the egg to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick"

"Why does Lebron James drive automatic? He has no clutch."

"I tried to give myself a sex change... but I couldn't really pull it off."

"[at my house after 1st date] me: so, do you wanna have some sex? her: well, I don't normally do this...but I think I'll pass"

"Why do Seagulls Fly over the Sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be Bagels"

"Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here."

"Matthew McConaughey set to guest edit Breibart news next week Alt-Right Alt-Right Alt-Right"

"I like my men like I like my coffee black, ground up and in the freezer."