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Joke of the Day

"Obesity doesn't run in your family - NO ONE runs in your family."

"Why do Irish women have small nipples? If they were any bigger their babies would get alcohol poisoning."

"What did one Labium say to the other Labium? We were tight until that Dick came between us."

"What do you call a black widow trapped in a bowl of noodles? Natasha Ramenoff"

"I told a joke about ripping up some paper It was tear-ible I'm really sorry!"

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a lamp. Then she walks into the wa- ok, you get the idea."

"if you're happy and you know it... then the chemtrails are working Edit: credit to Welcome to Nightvale"

"I heard your mom won a gold medal! I didn't even know they had sumo wrestling at the Olympics!"

"I just bought a film with..."

"What type of pants does Mario wear? Denim, denim, denim."