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Joke of the Day

"Why do Irish women have small nipples? If they were any bigger their babies would get alcohol poisoning."

"There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell."

"when I heard the news about Nintendo's president... it made my eye-wata"

"Patient: Doctor you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want."

"[Interrogation room] Good cop: ""Confess and we will go easy on you"" Sweet tooth cop: ""You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!"" *runs outside*"

"What happened to Windows 9 Windows 7 ""Eight"" Nine..."

"Comedy is like a baby shower Useless if the delivery goes wrong"

"Something with high frequency hit me It really hertz"

"Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down."

"Did you ever notice that black people... ...are the same as white people. - Joe Machi"