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Joke of the Day

"Holy shit. Just realized that my last girlfriend was born the same year I got my first credit card. And I'm not even hot like Larry King."

"How many anti-social teens does it take to ignore a burned-out light bulb? None of your fuckin business!"

"A man walks into an Australian pet store, He asks the bloke behind the counter ""where do you keep the kangaroos mate?"" The bloke replies, ""outback."""

"Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap."

"Batman threw Two-Face at my car, and now it has a Harvey Dent"

"Your posts make me wish I couldn't read."

"Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter? They get chapped lips"

"What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aramis ! Aramis who ? Aramis'tery !"

"What's the opposite of Tim Walken? Tim Daly."