224559

Joke of the Day

"Holy shit. Just realized that my last girlfriend was born the same year I got my first credit card. And I'm not even hot like Larry King."

"what idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?"

"What's the difference between an outlaw and an in- law? Outlaws are wanted."

"What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!"

"Never ask me ""Who hurt you?"" unless you want to sit through a 13 hour PowerPoint presentation."

"All this time I wondered why birds were out to get me. Turns out I just had a chip on my shoulder. #blood"

"Why do Scots wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear? Denim denim denim."

"A termite walked into a tavern, and asked"" Is the bar tender here?"""

"Shouting ""wahoo"" instead of ""woo-hoo"" so everyone in this bar knows that I'm into fun AND sport fishing."