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Joke of the Day

"If you love something, set it free... Except if 'It' is a man. Because he'll get lost, and won't ask for directions."

"2 wrongs don't make a right... But 2 Wrights make a plane"

"What does a man often wake with, but can never go to sleep with? An alarm, you pervert!"

"When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors."

"Charles Dickins walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The bartender says, Olive or Twist?"

"dave chappelle as a BLACK WHITE SUPREMACIST http://www.shortform.com/chocolatethunder/weheartcomedy/dave-chappelle-black-white-supremacist"

"What do you call a Whore that was shot by a sniper? 360 hoscope"

"The best birth control Put a rock in your shoe, it'll make ya limp"

"What did Mary say the first time she changed Jesus' diaper? Holy shit."

"I laugh at an ex who now dates an ugly man-pig... Until I realize that maybe she has a type."