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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's new tattoo My girlfriend has a tattoo of seashell on the inside of her leg. When you put your ear on it, you can smell the sea!"

"Carpenters are only in it for them shelves."

"How do you make the hippie run out of money? You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap."

"How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration."

"[Meta] the number of subscribers in this sub is a joke right? Did I miss something?"

"Do you guys know what a minstrel cycle is? A bicycle for musicians."

"Be alert! The world needs more lerts"

"Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job? [flashback to everyone chanting ""SHIT PANTS""] Me: It was just time for a change."

"What do you call a waffle you drop in the desert? San Diego ^^San-dee-eygo ^^^^sandee-eygo ^^^^^sandy-eggo ^^^^^i'll ^^^^let^^^^myself^^^^out"

"""Honey, I'm pregnant"" ""Are you kidding me?"" ""That's another way of saying it, I guess, yeah"""