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Joke of the Day

"My new Muslim Girlfriend keeps talking about a blow-job. I don't know whether to get my cock out or to warn London transport.........."

"A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong? The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning."

"What do you call a hired investigator who's a jerk only when he's alone? A private dick."

"My wife said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I put her into the back of a Mercedes and drove her into a wall."

"Gas is $4 a gallon and girls still think we're coming over to just ""chill."""

"If I could meet any celebrity it might have to be David Schwimmer. In a schwimming pool. Learning how to schwim."

"WANT TO HEAR A JOKE?! Want to Hear a Joke? My Life :)"

"A man calls in sick... A man calls in sick and his boss replies and asks ""how sick are you?"" Well, I am fucking my sister so pretty sick."

"Hitler was the worst track runner he couldn't even finish one race"