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Joke of the Day

"What did the drunk egg say? O'm lit!"

"What vegetable has the most sexual self-control? The cuecummer!"

"""Who let the dogs out?!"" - Pavlov getting angry"

"I always thought I was stupid... Then I read the commentary."

"So a horse walks into a bar... The patrons of the bar then proceed to scream in surprise because there's A FREAKING HORSE IN THE BAR."

"Facebook has a link to ""Report a Problem"" so I wrote ""I'm not very close with my father."" Now we wait I guess"

"what do British people say when Satan is on his period? Bloody Hell!!!"

"A prickle of porcupines A murder of crows A flamboyance of flamingos A twitter of depressed, alcoholic perverts A shrewdness of apes A parla"

"Me: I'm hot blooded check it and see got a fever of 103! 911: Did u call earlier about having a bad case of loving me? M: maybe 911: stop"

"what does Voldemort call his prostitutes Whorecruxes"